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Tips To Help You Stop Loving Your Ex
How do you stop loving someone after a breakup? It isn’t easy.
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The true and terrible answer: You don’t. Love isn’t a light switch. You can’t just turn it off.
The feelings you have for your ex after a breakup, no matter how horrible it was, are always going to be a part of your emotional landscape.
For better or worse, the love you feel for that person (or did feel) will shape the way you enter your next relationship, and the one after that, and the one after that… and so on.
That, ladies and gentlemen, is what we call “baggage.” Put yours next to mine.
All of us are over the weight requirement and getting charged an additional handling fee because life is brutal and unfair.
How to stop loving someone after a breakup? It’s an impossible thing to explain. There is no set of directions to follow.
You can’t tell a person how to stop loving someone in a list of seven easy steps, but you can try.
When it comes to how you stop loving someone, all you can do is go through it. Believe your feelings for them will never change, and then watch in wonder as time passes and they finally do.
To that end, here are 7 things you can do to help you stop loving someone.
Block them on social media, unblock them, and block them again.
If you really block your ex, it will help you stop loving him. It really will.
Sometimes you will unblock him and binge on photos of him happy with some other woman in Hawaii, and it will fill your soul with wrath.
But then you will reblock him and things will get better.
You need to give yourself time and space away from a person if you ever hope to move on from them.
Social media makes this a fucking nightmare. Like a donkey-show-level nightmare. Repeat after me: Block, block, oops you unblocked him, so block him again.
Get your to tell you what they really think about him.
I did this when I was having a really hard time figuring out how to stop loving someone. The ex in question then ghosted me.
I asked my best friend and her husband what they thought of the guy and her husband, and after a couple of cocktails, said “He’s a slob! A lazy slob!”
It was the best thing I’d heard in weeks. Your friends will hold back because they don’t want to hurt you.
Sometimes you must trick them with booze to get the straight answer.
Make a list of all their most annoying personality traits.
He cannot let you complete a sentence without interrupting.
He is a chronic mansplainer.
He is a liar and cheater.
He is incapable of cleaning up after himself.
You are pretty sure that he has never washed the jeans he wears every single day.
He’s lazy in bed, always making you get on top.
He never lets you hang out with his friends.
Remember all of the reasons you broke up.
He was saving up for a vasectomy and your plan has always been to have a couple of kids.
He wanted to live in the city forever, and you need to be back by the water.
He is an angry atheist and you’re still exploring religion.
You don’t need to hold on to love for someone whose life plan is so different from your own.
You don’t need to hate him either, but you can definitely let go of that love or at least use its spark to guide you towards a love that’s right for you. Or some shit.
Remember that he didn’t love you.
If he loved you he would not have forgotten your birthday and then, when you reminded him of it, bought tickets to see a movie he really wanted to see and then sent you home early and unfucked because he was “so tired.”
If he loved you he wouldn’t have made you sleep on his couch that one night because he “needs his space.”
If he loved you he would have actually broken up with you instead of just leaving you to figure it out when he stopped talking to you after a year of dating exclusively.
How to stop loving someone? Remember that they had actual trash they treated better than you (what up, a pile of cum tissues by his bed for months).
It isn’t always easy and it’s certainly different for everyone but hopefully some of these work for you.
Only time will really heal those wounds, and even then, some days it will all flood back to your brain.
But it’s normal! Learn from your relationships and from your breakups and, if there is a next time, you’ll be ready to move on.
